My so called life

Two weeks ago the lack of adventure and thrill in my life was enough to make you go crazy. I'm only nineteen years old and I tend to fall into my thoughts more than I should. I have a dad in heaven and an amazing mom who would drain the oceans if my life depended on it. Just an average teen. I go to school at the junior college part time and work for the Xerox corporation full time (not fulfilling), major downsides to my so called life. My school is your average small community college campus, random people going on about their day aimlessly shooting around, or is that just me? Ive managed to drop each class this semester because I was such a loser for my first ever semester. I just cant seem to get it right. I'd rather not get into all that though. I seem to have bad management skills in general. What i wouldn't do for a good pair of those. So in a lump sum I fail at school & job. Ill keep trying. I KNOW one day I'll  get smart and make something of my self so that doesn't totally depress me. It's not easy being strong willed. As for the relationship department its closed for remodel. I cant seem to find Mr. Right, all the wrong guys are trying to find me and I'm not coming out of hiding. I yearn for my dream man to come find me, express his love in a vow and take me away from this BS.  My fingers are crossed, hopes down. Please don't make me out as desperate. I don't even try, i'm attempting to be more forward with people emotions.